you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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