I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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