It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
