he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
