3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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