based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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