dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
