she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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