i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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