this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You were trust falling into bushes
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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