Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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