Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I am naked and annoyed.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
