I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
