I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize