Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Someone shattered a urinal.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
