I wish my penis had an off switch
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I want a musical about memes.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
