When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she looked like the before picture.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
