I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
