I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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