she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
