I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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