remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
