remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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