Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize