idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
