come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
