I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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