So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize