and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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