She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
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