Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
