Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
