I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have peed in a lot of sinks
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
