Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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