just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
