Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
