This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
