mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize