I bet he comes in French.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
