We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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