i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just high enough for therapy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
