i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
