We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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