Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
