He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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