as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
