ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
