Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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