Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
