I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
