I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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