Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
