I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
