omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
