it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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