also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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