Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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