we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
