i barfeds in our rink
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
