The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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