Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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