I'm so fucking centered right now
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
